


Not Toys’R’Us

by pulangaraw



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Darcy rocks, Gen, It's not Apple either, SI is not Nokia, Tony Is A Genius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is constantly eyeing Tony's tech.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Toys’R’Us

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this was TonynotStarkPhone. ;)

Tony keeps noticing how everyone is constantly eyeing his tech. It’s nothing new, really, people have always been eyeing his inventions, trying to get their hands on them (Hammer), trying to make money off of them (Obie) or trying to gauge how life-threatening they were for their creator (Pepper). Most people manage to stick with the eyeing, though, and Tony has learned to ignore it.

Then the Avengers happen.

Steve tends to look at his tech, pull a face and then go for something paper-based. It’s like he is trying to show his disapproval of Tony’s genius by finding the most antique thing in the vicinity and shoving it in Tony’s face. It pisses Tony off for about a week, then he mentally shrugs and decides that if Steve can’t get over it, it’s Steve’s problem, not his.

Clint keeps bugging him about new arrowheads and shinier tail feathers and tauter bowstrings, and after two weeks of nagging, Tony loses it and shouts at him to “fuck off and annoy SHIELD’s R&D department, after all they’re getting paid to come up with shit for you to throw at people. I have enough to do without you constantly getting on my last nerve.”

Clint scowls. “Fuck you, too.”

But at least he leaves Tony be afterwards.

Bruce doesn’t seem to give a shit about Tony’s tech. But then, Tony’s given him his own lab to play in, so Bruce has everything he needs. Tony still doesn’t regret his decision.

Natasha mostly pretends Tony doesn’t exist outside of missions and Tony can’t say that he’s terribly sad about it. Although her complete disregard for his genius does sting a bit.

“I mean,” he tells Dummy late one night, “It’s not like she couldn’t at least occasionally pretend to be impressed. This whole stoicism thing, it’s just not healthy, I tell you.” But overall, he decides, Natasha is best appreciated from a distance.

Thor tries to ask him about his tech exactly twice. On neither occasion does he understand what Tony is explaining, so they end up agreeing that from now on Thor will ask JARVIS about any tech-or-science-related questions he has. It works wonders. Then again, JARVIS is Tony’s creation, of course he’s brilliant.

Darcy is worst of all, though. She keeps trying to steal his see-through-touch-pad phone, his see-through-touch-pad pad, his see-through-touch-pad screens... She’s like a magpie for see-through-touch-pad things. She doesn’t succeed, of course, but constantly having to guard his stuff is getting a bit annoying.

So, one morning, when Darcy’s fingers are edging towards his phone again, Tony shouts, “Darcy, fucking Lewis, get your hands off my tech.”

Darcy flinches, then glares at him. “If you’d let me have one of your Stark Phones, I wouldn’t have to try to steal it.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “There is no such thing as a Stark Phone. This is a prototype I built solely for my personal use. It’s never going to be produced mass market.”

“You own a tech company-”

“I own a weapons manufacturing company, Darcy. Since when do cell phones count as weapons?”

Darcy frowns. “I thought you’d stopped that.”

Tony snorts. “Yeah, ‘cause that’s gonna happen from one day to the next. Do you have any idea how the corporate market works?”

“Well, you could switch to computers, phones, that kind of stuff, couldn’t you?” And god help him, she sounds hopeful.

“What, do I look like fucking Nokia to you? I am not going to turn Stark Industries into a better version of Apple just because you can’t deal with not having the coolest toys. Forget it.”

He stomps out of the room so he doesn’t have to continue this conversation. Sometimes he hates sharing his home with other people. Darcy never brings it up again, but for some reason Tony feels kind of guilty about the whole thing, so he whips together another prototype. This one is designed especially for Darcy and he hands it to her one morning over breakfast.

“For me?” She gasps.

“If you tell anyone, I will personally ensure that your ridiculous iTunes lists never work again,” Tony says.

She nods, eyes wide, cradling her new phone to her chest. “Pinky swear!”

She runs off, presumably to try out the thing. Tony rolls his eyes behind her back and goes to get himself a cup of coffee.

“No, that doesn’t mean I’m making you explosive arrowheads, Clint,” he says to the room at large.

There’s no answer, but Tony knows he’s been heard.

“I’m not fucking Toys’R’Us,” he says resolutely and wanders back down to his workshop.


End file.
